


These Pink Scars

by Hufflepuff_Amber



Series: Pink is the new Black [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Bird mom, Connverse all the way hey!, Cookie Cat, Giving another name to Pink Steven, I'll just write what's in my mind and let's see where it goes, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rainbow Mom, Rubber Hose Sister, Stevs and Pink Stevs are separated (again), Suspicious Dorito Aunt, Therapy exists and you need it Stevs, Three Crazy Diamond Moms, Water Aunt, fun mom, square mom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22161910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hufflepuff_Amber/pseuds/Hufflepuff_Amber
Summary: Two beings.A gem.A human.Two halfs of a whole.Never complete.Always bounded.Learning how be on just one side is like.At least for now.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Pink Diamond's Pearl & Spinel (Steven Universe), Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)
Series: Pink is the new Black [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1595212
Comments: 9
Kudos: 36





	1. A Turnaround On Your Monday Afternoon

**Author's Note:**

> *Uses warp to teleport to the room*  
> Here I am again, folks, still loving drama, still atempting to adopt Spinel, and with a brand new story coming out of the oven!  
> *Uses amber-gemstone on back of the hand to create a pencil and a notebook*  
> Well, I wouldn't make a sequel (because I'm lazy), but I recieved some requests and I couldn't say no :D !  
> Anyways, this is basically a little serie of one shots focusing mainly on Pink Steven, because he isn't a very popular character (despite being powerful as fuck) and I want to step in a new terrain (I know I'm not the first one but whatever). Is kind of a "Pink Steven Bomb" (I'm sorry, Rebecca), where he breaks the limitations he had when he was a hybrid. Confused? Interested? So just bear with me there.  
> I hope you like it!  
> *Uses gemstone to turn into a fox and come out of the screen*

If you asked Connie, she wouldn't know how to explain what the heck they were doing. But it was working, so it was okay for her.

Apparently, Pink Steven had "borrowed" an artifact from an ancient Pink Diamond temple. None of them knew how it worked, but resuming what they understood, it was getting part of their energy to heal Human Steven, or something like that. P.S needed her because not just because she was a human, but because she was the human who had estabilished the most deep relation with him, since she was the first person who he fused with (and because he had sure Greg would have a heart attack if he saw his son's corpse on a fountain). P.S, as a gem, and no less, a Diamond, was basicaly seeling energy, but he didn't let their sessions go too far, for Connie's sake.

It was slow, but effective. After some days, they needed to move Steven's body in a sitting position so he could breath, since his lungs were working well now.

-Just a few days more. ~Commented P.S, his lips slighty curved on a little smile. 

Unfortunally, their plan didn't worked before the gems reformed.

And a very uncomfortable Peridot and a Spinel who-seemed-to-rather-stay-in-the-Garden-more-6-thousands-years needed to give the news.

It went so well as you would expect.

Pearl was simply shattered (not literally), crying non-stop. She could be found hugging inconsolably Greg, both tearing their eyes out.

Both Lapis and Amethyst were intractable, handling the mourning in the most angry way possible. Separated, they could kill a man. They often went to the Kindergarden to destroy some injectors and eventually cry.

Garnet wasn't Garnet anymore. Literally talking. The shock was much that separated Ruby and Sapphire and now they couldn't have force to fuse again. They would just walk arround the house, not exactly reacting, just _there._

Bismuth was trying to look at things on the bright side, remebering that they still were the Crystal Gems and they needed to put it together because this was what Steven would want, but even her wasn't buying it.

Connie had asked countless times to tell them the truth and what they were doing on his room to at least relieve their grief, but all the times, P.S denied.

-If we fail, they will feel twice the pain they are feeling. ~He said all the times. ~We need to wait for the right time.

She could only hope that it wouldn't last long.

* * *

It was a normal day. She had accomplished her study routine, and her mother asked her to buy some bread before the usual trip to Beach City.

The first thing she saw when opened the door was a pink lion with a letter on his mouth.

And she knew it couldn't be a good thing.

Lion gave the letter to her, a page of a notebook slighty torn by the hurry, written on a fast caligraphy and in pink ink.

_Come to the Temple immediately._

_Is a emergency._

_S._

She didn't need a second call to do so.

* * *

-Sorry, mom, but the bread will take longer than the planned. ~She muttered under her breath while Lion ran to the Temple. Her stomach was giving somersaults like a professional gymnast while she thought in what could be the emergency. She was praying it wasn't what she thought it was, because or else she didn't think she would ever smile or do anything in a not-zombieish-way again.

Finally arriving on the temple, she saw her way was blocked by pratically all the gems of Little Homeworld, a kinda misfit Jasper (believe if you want), and finally, three giganormous Diamonds pushing each other to have a better view on the windows.

-Holy moly. ~She murmured, trying to ignore the terrible thoughts on her mind. If she was on that astral plan again, there would be so much butterflies that could make a bridge from there to Homeworld. She made her way trought the mess, but the Diamonds were still blocking the door. She tried to call their attention. White and Yellow didn't heard her, but Blue turned her head. Connie was so desperate the she didn't notice that the giant lady wasn't wepping, what was very normal to her. ~Could you give a little help? ~She asked on a breath.

-Oh. Of course, little one. ~Blue slighty smiled, taking the girl on her enormous hand and making her enter throught the door. 

After a quick "Thank you" to Blue, she saw that everyone was surrounding the couch. Pearl and Greg hugging ang crying like babies, Amethyst and Lapis covering their mouths, Ruby and Sapphire holding hands so thight that the knots were pale, Peridot lost in the gibberish, Bismuth with tears on her eyes and Spinel stretching her legs to have a better view. Pink Steven wasn't there.

Connie gluped, her legs trembling, waiting for the worst...

When she saw the reason of the commotion, her eyes got so full of tears that she barely could see a thing. Her throat got dry and her heart seemed to want to jump out of her chest.

-S-Steven, y-y-you're awake! ~She squealed, basically thowing herself on him and hugging him the tighter she could, wepping and laughing on his shoulder. After weeks of falling deep on the abyss of despair, it was a incredibly good sensation to fell his hand run on her hair and hear his low, but captivating laugh as he hugged her back, a bit weak, but happy to see her.

-My b-baby... my baby! ~Squealed Pearl and Greg, shaking and dropping more hapiness tears. Amethyst and Lapis' smiles could barely fit on their faces. Ruby and Sapphire were so happy that couldn't even say a word, letting their lovely hug and passionate happiness kiss talk for them, forming a wepping lauging Garnet again. Bismuth was punching the air in triumph.

-Haha! A Crystal Gem can fall, but we can't be beaten up! ~She exclaimed gladly.

Peridot was trying to understand how this could have happened and Spinel playfully said:

-I didn't know that humans could reform like this. ~She smiled.

-They _can't._ ~The green dorito-woman replied.

Connie pulled out of their embrance, and noticed something: there wasn't gem on his bellybuttom. Or bellybuttom at all. He wasn't pink neither, as it happened with Lion and Lars, but there was a long scar on his side.

Before she could ask, Pink Steven simply appear out of nowhere with a tray of tea on his hands, scaring Peridot and startling White Diamont outside.

-We can't fuse yet. ~He said, with all the world's calm, his expression undisturbed.~ Is kind of a side effect. There will be a while until we can again, what will serve to his recuperation. He's seriously weak now.

She looked closer at the damaged human on her arms. He had dark lines under his eyes and his general appearence was that he had just ran through all the globe without stopping for a while. He hadn't spoke a single word since he woke up, just having strenght to smile and move a little. But it didn't matter, as long as he was alive.

Suddenly, her phone ringed.

-Connie Maheswaran, it's better you have a good explanation to give, young lady! ~Said her mother, probably still waiting for the bread the girl forgot completely.

-I want one too! ~Shouted Peridot from above the fridge, where she had hid from P.S.

-You talk, or I do? ~Asked Garnet, reaching out to take her phone.

But after that little accident ( ahem _theyareplayingswords)_ she decided to talk with her mother herself.


	2. How Our Life Can Be Explained With Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second episode of Pink Steven Bomb (little short but yea), this time ressurecting a very important snack from the dead.  
> A tip:  
> He's a frozen treat with an all new taste!  
> 'cause he came to this planet from outer space!  
> A refugee of an interstelar war!  
> But now he's at your local grocery store!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me explain the Pink Steven Theory a bit:  
> Based both in the episode Change Your Mind and a interview with Rebecca Sugar (at least I think it was her who said), there is a concept that when Steven dies (by natural causes or a bloody end), his gem will separate from his body, forming Pink Steven, who will pass the rest of his life seaching for his other half, like a mutant gem, what is pretty fucked up. Many people made stories for it, like the famous Gone Wrong Au, were Spinel's attack really murdered Steven, and other fanfics, including mine :p  
> Theacher H.A out, writter H.A in!

Steven was laying on his new bed, the couch. Because any attempt to move caused a lot of pain (what made go to bathroom a awful jorney), and come upstairs was out of question.

It was very weird to come back to life. He made a mental note to ask Lars if he felt the same the next time he meet him and the Off Colors. 

And it was so lame to stay in rest! He couldn't go check the Little Homeworld, or go into missions, and read his book colletion (even the ones his father didn't let him read when he was a kid) was getting boring very fast.

And, in top of all, he hadn't his powers anymore! After all this time, all the fights, all the pain, he pratically came back to when he was a child and couldn't even summon his shield!

His "room" almost never was empty. There was always some gem, or his dad, or even Connie there to make him company. But ther was cases where everyone was busy and... Ugh, it was unsuferably boring. Of course he needed to rest after all these stressfull days, but he was used to live his life in constant red alert. Be stuck that way was so... Blegh.

He had just ended reading Final Destiny for the fifth time, when a pink glow called his attention.

And there he was: pink gem, glowing body and a voice that could bring the highest Diamond to her knees, the one and only Pink Steven.

What let his other half a bit nervous, to say the least.

-Oh, hey... ~He said, a little awkwardly. ~I never thanked you for bringing me back so... Thanks.

P.S nooded silently, and then showed something on his open hand that made the other boy gasp.

-Cookie Cat?! Oh boy, this brings me back! ~He exclaimed, lost in childrehood memories. When he wrote a silly song about the snack and thought that he could summon his shield by eating a lot of it. He passed a good while in the bathroom after that. ~Where did you found it? I thought I had ate all when-

-Back of the fridge. ~P.S replied, a bit roboticaly. ~Want to share?

-Hm, sure. ~He said, observing his pink self breaks the treat in two halfs, so simmetrically perfect that would make even Pearl get impressed, and then handle the white part to him.

He observed the half in his hand. In a eerie way, the Cookie Cat seemed a little like him. Cream -his human half , and strawberry -his gem half. Never just one, always both. One completed the other. At least, is how it used to be.

When he was younger, he had wondered countless times how it would be to be just a human or just a gem. To not be always the "different one". And now that he had sure that be the different one was who he was and that he could be proud of it, poof! The universe found a way to torture him again.

P.S may had noticed his upsedness, because after a intense glow, there was a teenager Steven staring a pink 12-years-old Pink Steven, trying to guess what his magical half would do. P.S took a bite on the cookie, hummed and clossed his eyes, tilting back just enough to show his gem, that shone bright and summoned, you guess it, a shield. Then he opened his eyes, pretended surprise and let out a exclamation, that lauched the shield all over the room until it faded, earning a laugh from the teenager.

-Gawd, it seems like it was yesterday. ~He chuckled, and P.S sat down beside him, turning back to his current form.~I've thinking a lot about the past, you know? Since the gems and I played Ultimate Steven Tag. I was so naive, wasn't I?

P.S didn't respond. Instead, he addmited:

-I tried to ask for the bits some days ago. But I guess I didn't calculate my strenght when it came to punch the table, and I broke it. But I fixed with healing powers. However, I think I scared the heck out of Pedee and turned into Ronaldo's new theory focus.~He shruggered.

-Geez. ~Steven said, eating his cookie in one bite. ~ Hey, I need to ask... Why did you save me, exactly? I mean, you are stronger without me. And does it count as a selfish saving or...

-I saved you because you're a part of me. ~The other replied, almost automatically. ~I'm not Steven Universe if we're not together. Otherwise, I would be just Pink Diamond pretending be someone she isn't, again. ~He frowned a little with this phrase, before softening again. ~And, in oposite of White had said, "you're a part of me which I need to suppress", I really care about you. I don't know if in a brother way, or in a self way or even on a mother way, but I still do. And I know it wouldn't be the same to anyone if it was just me. After all, it was my fault you got corrupted. ~He finalised, a bit ashamed.

-Hey, don't say that. -He tried to reach the other's shoulder, but he couldn't without getting dizzy, so he just decided to change the subject. ~So... How can I call you?

Great mistake.

P.S got up and stood on Steven's front so fast that it could let The Flash jealouss, shinning with a stronger intensity, hands balled into fists, and the boy thought for a second or two if he got killed by himself it would be a murdering or suicide.

-I'm Steven. ~He spat, anger on his eyes, apparently mistaking his question with a shot to his identity~ I'm not Rose Quartz, I'm not Pink Diamond. And I don't want to-

-Wait, wait, I don't mean like that! ~He exclaimed. ~I asked if I could give you a nickname!

-Uh? 

-Y-Yeah... I mean, to make things easier, and don't need to call you Pink Steven all the time. Like, we now call Pink Pearl by Volleyball. We could give you a nickname too.

He seemed to think about it, and then nooded.

-But don't name me after a sport.

Steven hummed while thought about it, analysing his alterego.

-Well, you don't want to be reminded by Pink Diamond or Rose Quartz, so anything with flowers or colors are out...~Then he looked at his shirt, snapped his fingers and said. ~ What do you think about Starry?

Starry seemed to like the new name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously guys. If the two sides of the cookie cat was a refference to Steven being a fusion (as I saw in one theory) , so I need to take the next plane to the USA, get into the CN studios and shake Rebecca's hand because THIS WOMAN IS A FREAKING GENIUS.


	3. Pink Pink Purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our dear Starry spends his time with two fun-loving gems, who helps him to break a barrier from the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, let me explain a thing. In this chapter, there will be interaction of Steven and Spinel, but not in a romantic way. I don't have ANY problem with the ones who ships Speven (or Stevinel?), who ships, okay, who doesn't, okay too. Is that, Spinel is a great friend (when she isn't mad) and she suffered from something that is very close to what Steven was passing, as seen in the episode Little Graduation, the fear of abandonment. And I think she could be a good "sister" on times like that.  
> And Amethyst is there too because she's awesome.

Starry was on a tight spot there.

Literally.

A simple film maraton of the movie adaptation of Unfamiliar Familiar (whose didn't look a _little_ with the books and almost made Connie want to rip her eyes off- "They forgot at least five main characters and HOW COULD THEY CHANGE THE FALCOM FOR A BEAR?!") ended with a human-gem-human sandwich, with the pink boy between two very tired humans and feeling basically the third weel, for a reason he didn't quite understood.

He had enough. Trying his best to don't wake them, he got out of the couch, observing their reactions. Without him between them, their unconcious bodies didn't take much to reach for each other, embrancing the other on a affective hug. 

They still blamed themselves for what happened. He could say just by their body language, and by his empathy too.

Connie blamed herself for not being able to protect her friend as she had sworn. She couldn't stop him from being corrupted. She had lost him once and would rather be smashed by White's high heels than to let it happen again, as she showed hugging him closer to her body.

Steven blamed himself for getting corrupted. He let his emotions blind him, control him, and he turned into a monster, hurt his friends and caused a chaos. He would do anything to fix it, even seal his soul. He sleeply carresed her hair and pressed his lips on her forehead.

But the only sure Starry has was that _he_ was the one to blame. Because of _him_ , Steven couldn't have a normal life. He was the one who took the desired peace from his tired hands, again and again and again. Making him pay for his mother's sins, need to handle his uncontrolable powers, etc, etc.

He felt his feelings boiling, a pink realm appearing in front of his eyes, heart pounding, breath fastened, butterflies flying arround him, wispering, laughing...

-Hey, Starry! ~A voice as much shrill and loud as a siren called him back to earth, where a really excided Spinel was waving from behind the kitchen's counter, smiling from ear to ear, seeming a little with an sugarry pony from a cartoon he used to watch.

-Don't wake them. ~He said, lowly, and she covered her mouth with her big gloves.

They went out, laid on the catwalk, looking at the sea in front of them.

-You're not with the Diamonts?

-No, they are solving serious business with a neightborn planet, so I'm with the day off. 

-Hm, nice duds. ~He pointed to her clothes, a almost perfect replica of Pink Diamont's vests.

-Oh? Ah, right! The Diamonts gave me this, you know? Since I'm kind of Pink's replacement... ~She said, a bit uncomfortable. ~But I know you don't like to think about her much, Pink Pearl told me. ~She suddenly blushed at the mention of the one-eyed gem, and Starry knew that as soon Steven knew about that his shipper instincts would turn up.

-I've been walking on the same shoes. Both ways. ~He said, remebering when he had to use this clothes too. He frowned at this thought, and decided to talk about another matter. ~Spinel? ... I know you don't like to remeber it, but... I think I get you now.

-Get me about what? 

-You know... your fear of being alone... well, not exactly what you felt, I've never been stuck on a Garden for thousand years....~He completed, afraid that she would get mad at any moment.

Instead, she just gave a small giggle.

-Well, I've never got corrupted. ~She comented, apparently trying to be nice, but failing miserably. ~But, if you thaught me something, is that you're never alone...

For a minute, they stood there, chewing their bitter pasts and terrible mistakes.

Finally, Spinel snapped.

-Agh, enough! ~She huffed. ~This is too gloomy and boomer-ing for me to handle! We need to find something to dooooo! ~She whined, as the fun-lover gem she naturaly was.

Starry though about it for a little. A bit of fun could be what he needed.

Luckily, he knew the right gem to the service.

* * *

Amethyst was feeling a bit uncomfortable, to say the least.

But she had been on more dangerous situations than entertain a psycho and a nuclear bomb, right?

-Oh, okay, so...

-Steven said that you like to change forms. ~Said Spinel. ~What can you do? ~She asked, on a daring tone.

Amethyst smirked. It wasn't everyday who she would get challenged to a shape-shift competition by a gem who was _made_ for it.

Without breaking a sweat, she turned into her furry cat form.

-And so, Bubblegum? Can you do this?~Asked her, moving her cat body with grace.

-Ohoho, what about a _real_ dare, Amy? ~The jester said, turning into a cat with even more ease than Amethyst, a pink cat with magenta spots, cherry pink "gloves", and three black marks under her eyes.

-Nothing bad, nothing ba- ~Her voice got caught on her throat when a pink glow, this tme not coming from Spinel, lit up in front of her, burning out the shine of the sunset. And then, right before their eyes, emerged a rose-pink cat, with curly fur, and a darker star-shapped-spot on his belly, circling his gem.

-Uh, meow? ~He said, not knowing exactly what to do. He had never been a cat before.

Amethyst dropped her transformation in the act. 

-You can change your form!~ She exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear. Spinel wasn't understanding but cheered as well. ~No more cat fingers?

Starry checked his own hands and shook his head. Not being half human, his tranformations could flow as a peacefull river. But still, he preffered being a hybrid.

-Woho! ~The two girls danced in hapiness around his still figure.

-Can you turn into something else?

-Yeah! A person! Turn into a person!

He thought a little. He didn't want to turn into Pink or Rose, or any other Rose Quartz, because it provoked very bad memories... but maybe...

In another flash of pink glow, there was another Spinel in front of them.

The transformation was almost perfect. A very accurate color pallete, using her classic clothes, but with the gem on his belly instead on the chest.

The girls' squeal could be heard even on Empire City.

-I have a twin! ~The original one said, grabbing her clone's arm.

-Let's play pranks on the others, they will freak out! ~Laughed Amethyst, dragging both back to the temple.

Well, by Pearl's scream, Starry could say that he was starting to have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, I've seen a lot of people criticizing Stevs' new behaviour. I'm not saying they are wrong, and I believe that everyone haves the right to have a opinion, but I'll say what I think, so is fine if you don't agree.  
> They says he is "arrogant and selfish" because he saved the universe.  
> But I think he's disturbed and inseccure because he HAD to save the universe.  
> I mean, in Guidance, he ended up messing the gems' jobs because he wanted to erase the Gem War prints. In Volleyball, he was simply sick of hearing all the bad things his mother did, because, if everybody kept comparing me with a woman that started a WAR, lied to her friends and Family, let a innocent cute bean to ROT, and many other things, I would be pissed off too. In Snow Day, he wanted the gems to see him how he was, and not how he had been, and is normal for a teenager to don't want to be seen as a child. In Little Graduation, well, let's agree that Stevs cares too much about his friends' feelings, and he can be overprotective, and I don't think that he was "jealouss" because everybody had a new thing to do except him. Was because everybody was going on with their lifes and he was there STUCK, needing to fix his mother's mistakes once again. And finnaly, Prickly Pair, is very normal for a teenager to don't want to share their feelings, and in this case, I guess he want to figure his way out alone this time (being independent) and don't want the gems to be worried about him, because he had made they suffer too much.  
> So, I don't think he's arrogant or anything, I just think he's a boy who suffered too much (I diagnosed anxiety, PTSD, maybe depression and God knows what more), and needs to stop bubbling his feelings or he can turn into a time-bomb or a monster (literally *glares the dark pink monster on the backs*).  
> But well, that's my opinion.


	4. A Single Faint Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happens during corruption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tittle is a refference to "A Single Pale Rose", like the episodes "Together Alone" and "Alone Together".  
> I tottaly recomend hearing "Monster", from Frozen the Musical, while you read, because that was my inspiration for this chapter and it fits soooo weeeeellll!

-Aw, shoot. ~Steven groaned, trying to get up. His head hurted oh so much.

He tried to understand his surroundings. Everything was so... pink...

Then he looked foward. There was something like a window...

He approached to give a better look, and gasped in horror.

Because that wasn't a window.

It was his _gem._

He looked outside. there was a lot of people frightened, including the gems from Little Homeworld and the humans from Beach City, and the Crystal Gems, his father and Connie, along with some other brave gems ans humans, like Sadie and Centi, were trying to come closer... But, wherever he was, it has moving fast. Then, passing by a watter puddle, he saw a huge, humongous horned monster, something that seemed to have came out of a nightmare.

He tilted to have a better view, and the monster tilted as well. It was like a mirror.

-No no no no no no no **no _NO!_** ~ He screamed, tears running down his cheeks at the terrible conclusion that _he_ was the monster.

The memories came to him as painfull as being hit by a lightining. The despair he felt as his body started to change, the colossal pain when his back strenched, his claws grew, horns poked out of his hair, everybody trying to make him come back...

How he could let this happen?! And, a more important matter, HOW TO MAKE IT STOP?!

He tried to calm down. Panic wouldn't help him at all. Taking deep breaths, he closed his eyes and waited until his body stopped trembling. If he couldn't get out, maybe he could solve this inside.

-T-that's okay, Steven, y-you can do this. ~He said to himself, sounding more bold than he was feeling. ~Not time to crying now. Is better start moving. ~He noticed a bright figure with the corner of his eyes. A butterfly. He glupped. ~ And fast.

And there he was. In a journey inside his gem.

It. Was. A. Total. MESS.

He barelly could say where Pink Diamont and Rose Quartz ended and Steven started. He would expect that it was like Pearl's memories, all organized, but again, we are talking about _Pearl._

See that memories again was making him even more sick than he was already feeling. All the things he tried to forget. Rose puffing Bismuth, her loyal friend and the gem who believed the most on her cause, Pink Diamond letting poor innocent Spinel to rot in her garden, the gem who wanted the most her friendship, _he_ making Jasper get corrupted, leaving Eyeball to float forever in the darkness of the space...

Oh gawd, he was starting to feel like trowing up. He didn't know how much time he could endure this torture.

He just wanted it to end.

He started to hear a rustle that caused a shiver to climb up his spine. He didn't want to turn his head. He really didn't. But...

Oh.

My.

Catterpillar.

He had never saw so much batterflies in all his life, all assuming the forms of his family, his closest friends and all the ones he ever hurt. All of them, all of them whispering their mean threats and comments...

But Steven wasn't silly enought to stay there and hear it.

Think about it my foot! He didn't need to feel even worse than he was!

So, he started to run. The faster his tired legs could run. But the butterflies were as much fast. He was on a point that he couldn't say what was thought and what was memory.

He passed by halls, streets and rooms, until something catched his eye on a dark chamber, and he came closer.

It was the painting where he, Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst were together, the one hooked upstairs in the Temple.

But then there was a flash, and the painting wasn't retrating him and the Crystal Gems, but it was a mural with him and all the Diamonds. And it began to oscilate, again and again, each time faster and faster.

It only stopped when he punched his face on the wall, his skin pink again, absolute anger on his eyes.

He didn't know why he did it, and he wouldn't stay there to find out.

Finally, he spotted a haven. It was the house of the Temple, and the simplicity said that it was from his childrenhood. 

It was his only choice, so...

He stormed inside the house and closed his door with a bang, putting whatever heavy thing he could to block.

He couldn't even stop to breath when a shield almost splited his head in two.

He looked at the surroundings. There was three "statues" of the Crystal Gems, what was kind of creepy, and, close to the fridge, a "classic" Steven was looking up at him with curious eyes.

He looked at the small figure (he figured out he was on the memory of when he summoned his shield the first time, because there was a Cookie Cat on the little one's hand) with distrust. 

He stated to poke his face.

-Are you some copy of me made by my deep fears and insecurities to make me snap? ~He asked, waiting for the moment the little boy would turn into a bunch of butterflies. But he seemed so _real..._

_-_ Uh... No...?~ His child version said, on his squeaquy kid's voice.

And then Steven collapsed. 

-Oh, thanks heaven!! ~He exclaimed, falling on his knees, sweat shinning on his face, tears forming on his eyes, hands shaking as were used as suport while he panted. 

He wasn't nor even close to stop the monster, and now, with all this emotional distress, he was sure the creature outside was even more terrible. He felt useless, so useless.

How was him supposted to be a leader? He couldn't even care about his own feelings!

-Are you okay, mister? ~He heard the other ask. ~Because we can help you, no matter how big is the problem! ~His tone suddenly changed to a excited one. ~Because we are the Crystal G-

-YES, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!~ He snapped, with not even a drop of patience, with tears falling from his face. ~AND NO, I'M NOT OKAY, AND THERE'S NOTHING _YOU_ CAN DO TO FIX IT, BECAUSE IF YOU COULD, I WOULD HAVE FIXED IT ALREADY!

For the most he didn't want, he felt anger looking at the boy he had been. He felt anger for spending so much time and fighting so hard to be like his mother, and now he was doing what he could to _don't_ be like her and fix what she had done, how he had always did, even when he thought she was a saint. What a irony.

In constrast with the past, when he would pratically jump in the neck of anyone who dared to talk something bad about her, he came to the future not doubting a thing when he heard all the crimes she commited, like fooling and leaving Spinel behind or breaking Pink Pearl's eye. But, something didn't change. After all this years he... He still...

He still wanted to make her proud. 

He still loved her.

So it was the reason it still hurted so much?

-Are you sure you don't want help, Steven? ~Said a all too familiar voice, that a voice that he only knew by his dreams.

He looked up.

There wasn't any butterfly yet, but for sure something was different.

His younger version was with his mother's eyes.

-Oh, God, Steven... You grown up so much... ~Said her/him, the voices of Rose and Pink merging, smiling sweetly. ~ You've turned into a brave, wonderfull man, you know that? Dear, when I choosed tho have you, I didn't even dreamed that you would need to fix my mistakes. You've been under so much pressure, but you still went so far... Bismuth were right. You're better than me. You make me so proud, my little star... 

-M-mom... ~He wept, sobbing even more. ~I.. I don't know what to do... 

-Sweetie... ~The little figure started to glow, until it turned on the rebel leader Rose Quartz, that sea of pink locks waving while she leaned closer to carress his cheek. ~You know I'm not you, and you're not me, but it doesn't mean that I'll always be there and there.~She pointed to his gem, and then to his heart.~ You'll win this. You always do.

He couldn't handle it anymore and hugged her, tears wettering her long, rounded dress.

-Mommy... I d-don't hate you, you k-know that, right...? 

Rose only smiled, strokking his messed dark locks. She giggled a little, holding him until he calmad down enough to fight again. And then, started to sing a lullaby that, even if nobody had sang it to him before, he knew by heart.

- _I always thought I might be bad, now I'm sure that it's true, 'cause I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you. Look at you go, I just adore you, and I wish you to know, that I think that you are so special..._

Slowly, his sobs turned into ragged breaths, and then to calm, silent breaths. He pulled out of their embrace, wipping his last tears, when he saw that Rose was holding a long, familiar pink sword to him.

-Get them, tiger. ~She smiled warmly.

~Thanks, mom. ~He said, taking the sword, standing up and summoning his shield.

With this, Rose changed back to the form of before, the little classic Steven, who seemed confused and amazed with the weapons on his older version's hands.

-Wow! You can summon a shield too?! How do you do this? Do you eat Cookie Cat too or-

-Not now. ~He said, firmly, standing on battle stance. ~Hide behind the counter.

The kid whined a bit, but obeyed.

Right in the moment the butterflies exploded the roof.

But now he was ready for them.

-Pearl and dad just worry because they love me! ~He exclaimed, cutting a Pearl and a Greg clones in a shot, making them fade. 

-Garnet just is trying to do the best for me! ~ He hit his sword right in the clone's visor.

-Amethyst is growing up too and this is great! ~He cut her head out.

-Lars and Sadie have the right to move on and go out with who they want! ~He gave another double cut.

-Connie - uh, I guess I can talk with her later. ~He blushed, being gentle while cutting her clone apart.

One after another, Jasper, Bismuth, Lapis, Peridot, Spinel, Eyeball, even each of the Diamonds, falled upon his sword. Even his mother, but after the talk from before, he could do this without hesitate.

Finally, the last butterfly faded, and he could rest.

-Holy cheese, I'm glad this is over. 

-Are you sure about that?

He turned his head to the voice, and a mix of fear and pure done-ness washed over him.

-Oh, bite me. ~He murmured at the sight of a Butterfly-Steven in front of him, seeming stronger and more resistent than the other ones, with a shield and a sword too.

-Surprised? ~The other mocked.

-Not even a little. I've fought against myself once. But there was a lot of me that were fighting over a hourglass, and then all of them turnes into sand... I still don't get it well. Anyway, if I need to defeat you to end with this nightmare, so bring it on! ~He advanced.

Well, easier said than done.

His clone was always one step foward him. Always ready to give a perfect hit.

Before he could tell, be was fallen on the ground, with his clone standing triumphantly above him. He could hear the whines of his little-him behind the counter.

-Didn't you get it yet? ~His clone asked, smiling while he cowered. ~You can't get rid of me, because I'm everything you can't escape. Your fear, your pain, your anger, your saddness, your insegurities, your _helplessness._ All the things you hate about yourself and the only villain you can't defeat. Look at you, Steven Quartz Universe, savior of worlds, cowering and shivering like a rat! And, let me tell you a secret: as long you exists, _I'll_ exist. And as long as I exist, the monster wont stop being a threat, because you're too weak to control it!

Then he had a idea.

It was a terrible, terrible idea.

But it was his only choice.

-Then I know what to do. ~He said, grabbing his sword with a a dark expression. ~I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry, guys.

-What - WHAT ARE YOU-

The shout of his clone died with a final swing of his sword, a sharp pain and a warm, wet sensation blooming on his side...

* * *

Steven woke in the middle of the night, with a cold sweat.

Ugh, that same nightmare from every night since he came back.

Couldn't he just forget it?!

He looked at his side, letting out a exclamation until he realized who was there. The ~~nightmare~~ memory was still too fresh, even after weeks.

-Hi Starry. You made hot coccoa? ~He asked at the shinning pink figure, who nooded.

-Like I did yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before the day before yesterday. ~Starry replied, on his usual robotic tone.

Steven, who couldn't care less for the drink, just hugged Starry, who replied immediatelly.

It wasn't enough for them to fuse again but at least he was feeling better now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys, I'm accepting requests! If you want some prompt, leave it on the comments! (◠‿◕)


	5. I'm Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, maybe I'll not write the next ones like episodes. I want to step out of the box. Maybe some AUs, and etc.  
> Now, on this chapter, I'll focus a bit more on Connie, because she barelly appears on SUF and she deserves a award for all the progress from the first time she appeared, when the little catterpilar was fucking scared because of a corrupted gem till the beautifull butterfly jumped out of a goddam lion ready to cut a thousand evil gems with the fury of her sword. *Snifs* I can't even...  
> Obs: There's Innocent-Bean/ Everybody's-Older/Younger-Sister Spinel too because I can't get enough of her.  
> Another obs:the first paragraphs in the beggining will have a bit of Greg's POV because he's a awesome dad. That's it.  
> Yet another obs: I have a slight impression that the "Pink White Diamond" haves something with all the corruption thing but I don't have Idea wat so she's not here.  
> Guess it another obs: Confession scene because I don't know if they confessed already or that kiss-in-the-cheek from the movie was like "I love yu but I don't know how to say so I'll just kiss your cheek and hope you get it".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, let me talk a bit about the corruption theory because I've writting about it a lot:  
> There is people that believes it, and people who don't. I believe and I'll tell why.  
> People says that it because of the color, of the shape of the horns who remeber Stevs' hair, the fact that we can't see the gem, and after that revealing audio leaked, there's more sure than ever.  
> But the reason that I believe is:  
> The. Friggin. NOSE.  
> Okay, you can laugh if you want! But I know what I'm talking about!  
> I mean, c'mon! I've passed five seasons and a movie seeing that nose, I know that nose and THAT'S STEVEN'S NOSE.  
> You would expect that, if was something like the Druse or anything else, it would have a totally monstruous face, including the nose. Dunno, like Voldemort's, two slits, or something. BUT IT HAS A HUMAN NOSE.  
> WHY ON EARTH would Rebecca do a mega monstruous beast with all the monster-like accessories AND! DO! IT! WITH! A! HUMAN! NOSE! if that monster wasn't Steven?!  
> Plus that pink-fury attacks are too weird too and I'm worried about my precious boi.  
> But Rebecca wouldn't, I don't know, kill the main character, right?  
> *voice cracking*  
> Right?

Steven had a certain experience being a monster. The cat-fingers accident still was fresh on Greg's memories.

But now, it was a way, way, waaaaaay bigger deal. 

If his son didn't killed him, surelly a heart attack would do the job.

He was holding a bunch of puffed gems on his arms, in a forest near to beach city, watching voiceless a lot of people trying to make his mind. He had tryied the best he could, but it didn't worked. All he could do has watch.

And pray.

Centi, the nephrite, approached with a little sack of chips.

The monster seemed suspicious as he lowered his head to a better look.

-You helped me when I was a monster. Let me return the favor. ~She said, showing the snacks to him.~ See? You like champs, don't you?

The creature looked at her, his feral gaze starting to get soft...

But a second after Snowflake Tourmaline needed to pull Centi back so she wouldn't get clawed by the monster that got totally out of control.

None of the ex-corrupted gems would blame him. He had alway been on their side and they knew that he could control it. It was a terrible illness that they couldn't fight alone.

Out of nothing, a portal opened and a girl mounting a lion and branding a great sword jumped out of it, the moonlight giving a pretty glow on her messed hair, her brown eyes wild and worried.

-Sorry for the delay, I came the faster I could! Where's Steven?! ~She panted, eyes searching frantically. She hoped she hadn't arrived too late.

Greg only whined and pointed for the enormous, titanic horned creature in front of them.

Connie took a little to understand, but when she did, she gasped in absolute horror.

She couldn't believe that her best friend, the person she admired the most, the one who was always there when she needed, turned into a horrific creature, a monster made of what nightmares are made of, like the ones that kids believes that lives on the wardrobe or under the bed (despite the fact that he was way bigger than even White Diamond's bed), and she wasn't there for him to prevent it. 

But maybe she could make it stop.

She started to approach, despite the warnings of the other humans and gems.

-Steven! ~She called. Once again, the monster looked down, but this time seemed totally unarmed, almost like saying "What are you doing here? Please, don't look at me when I'm like this!"

He slowly lowered his head and body, like a puppy observing a new toy, a curious, innocent and, at the same time, guilty look on his eyes, what torn her heart.

-He's scared. ~She whispered, droping her sword and raising her hand carefully. His eyes followed the movement silently, and she finally touched his face. He didn't recoiled. She took it as a good sign. ~ I know you are here. You didn't want any of this, right? ~She carresed his face sweetly, and the beast melted at her touch, tears forming on his dark eyes. Connie tried to hold her own. ~I remember when I met you for the first time. I was so scared with everything that was happening, but you kept so positive and tried to convince me that it was going to be okay, and it did. You have a golden heart, Steven, and you can't let whatever is happening change that. ~ He put both of her hands on his face and pressed her forehead against his. He didn't even tried to fight. He just purred and leaned closer, and for a minute, everything seemed okay...

But it didn't last long. 

She only felt when he moved away, not touching her, and she only saw when he looked at her, the hurt, frightened expression on his face before he runned to the deep of the forest.

And the she realized he wasn't trying to attack anyone. 

He was trying to protect them from him.

* * *

He had disappeared not so far from there. Hopefully, he had turned back into human and he was going to be _okay..._

She found him before than the others.

But in the moment she took a look at him, she knew that he was _everything but_ okay.

Her heart seemed to be failing, and her eyes got heavy with tears.

Oh God. _Oh God oh God oh God._

She ran to where he was fallen.

_Nonononononono._

She knelt beside him. There was a great, deep, bleeding cut on his side, his clothes were so ragged that you would say that he had been attacked by the monster, not on it's skin. His eyes were closed, there was a thin line of blood coming out of his mouth and, what scared her the most, he wasn't moving or breathing at all.

-Steven, please, _please_ wake up! ~She pled, trying to shake him awake but nothing seemed to work. ~ _Steven!! Please don't leave us! We need you! I need you!_ ~She cried, but he didn't wake up. Of course he didn't. He could be half Diamond but he was still half human.

And humans are more fragile than Diamonds.

-I'm begging you! Please, Steven, you can't go like that! I... I... ~She gasped, not able to say any word without sobbing violently. She hugged his body the thighter she could, and it hurt so much when he didn't hugged back like he always did. And even more when she finally realized that he would never hug her back again.~ I... l-love you, Steven Universe. I-if it at least had said it sooner...

There was a long, high-pitched scream behind her, and she turned her head to see. It was Greg. He was crying torrentialy, hugging (more like taking the air off the lungs of) Peridot, totally stuck to the place. Most of the ex-corrupted gems didn't know what was happening, but the ones that knew, along with the humans, were simply _destroyed_ inside.

-Wasn't that kind of scream that I had in mind... ~Larimar commented silently.

Connie suddenly felt two arms wrapping around her -literally. She looked at back and was surprised to see Spinel, one of the (many many many many many) gems that tried to kill Steven on a past occasion. She also didn't knew well what was happening because she hadn't many contact with humans before, but she knew enough to know that there was a upset person in front of her that she needed to comfort.

-Hey, I guess that he wouldn't want you to be so sad. ~ She said softly. ~Maybe it's better we find a beautifull place for him to rest.

She wipped her eyes and nooded.

They found a very pretty spot on the forest. There was bright, colorfull flowers gracing the soft grass, fireflies and little birdies making their nests on the trees, and a great view to the sky above. She knew how much Steven liked sunny days and nights full of stars. She had sure he would like that place. So they made a hole in the ground and covered with a big, plain stone, and in a little funeral, each said what they needed to. When came her time, she had so many things on her mind. Wanted to say how he had turned her life upside down and how she was gratefull about it. How she felt lucky to had found a friend like him and how it hurted her that she never told him what was on her heart... and now she wouldn't have the chance...

She just didn't expeted that a pink arm would move the stone to the left, just enough to a slightly overweight body pass...

Pink Steven, very casually, like it was common for him to come out of graves, moved the stone back to the place, and then waved to the watchers.

Greg fainted. A lot of humans screamed but Larimar was too surprised to enjoy it. Spinel was making a confused frown while Peridot.exe stopped working. Connie was simply paralysed. But she knew, oh she knew, that it was going to give a great head ache to her...

* * *

-... and the frosting was as white as the ivory of the great montain beast of the Frozen Peaks. There was little flowers that broke the blank surface and brought so much color than the love of... ~Connie couldn't keep for much time. She couldn't get how Steven could like all that mushy stuff from the last book of Unfamiliar Familiar. But at least read to her friend-in-coma distracted her while her energy was being absorved. Yay.

It was a normal session. She was getting used with this quickly. The pink trees, floating lights, and mainly, the pink boy in front of her were starting to make her feel comfortable.

But then she noticed another pink thing that startled her.

-S-Spinel? ~She called.

The jester, who was doing a terrible job behind a tree, smiled nervously before showing herself.

-Hiiiaa... I was wanting to ask if you wanted to play something and followed you to there and... Am I interrupting something? ~She asked, almost like they were doing way more that they really did.

-No! ~Said Connie.

-Yes. ~Said Pink Steven.

She glared at him.

-Too much sincerity. ~She murmured, before turning to the other.~That's okay, you can come closer.

P.S looked at her.

-Nobody could know. ~He replied, frowning a bit.

-I'm sure she's not going to tell anyone. ~She smiled, and his glare got less harsh. Even like this, she could affect him the same way Greg affected Rose years ago.

Spinel came closer and took a look at the fountain. She didn't had much time to research about humans before leave to her revenge, so she didn't feel disturbed to see a corpse on a fountain.

-Is he reforming? How much time he takes to reform?~She asked innocently. Even if she tried to kill all the human kind, she didn't seem to know exactly what she was doing. She was a gem build to be a friend, not a fighter. Probably was so blind with fury that didn't even thought in what it would mean to Earth. 

-Good question. ~P.S said. He wasn't exactly as much patient as his human side. ~I though that our combined energy would be enough but...

- **LET ME HELP**.~ Spinel basically shouted, letting a human and a gem surprised. Then she lowered her tone. ~I-i mean, I can help you.

P.S frowned.

-I don't know if-

-Please! I ruined Steven's happily ever after and almost killed him! Let me get my redeption! ~She pled, knelling and making a pupy face.

-Six hands are better than four.~ Connie tried with little smile.

Pink Steven groaned. She tried very hard to kill him and his counterpart. But if he would trust in any gem that ever tried to do so, then he wouldn't trust in any gem.

He huffed and nooded.

But if Spinel liked her gem at them point she wouldn't want it shattered, better if she wasn't planning any scam, or told anyone.

* * *

Spinel was happy.

Steven had "reformed"! And she helped!

It wasn't enough to erase what she did, and she still didn't feel like she would gain his trust back any soon, but it was a good first step!

And now, thanks to her elastic powers, she could peek at her favorite "TV Show" -it is how Peridot calls?

She wasn't seeing anything like "TV" but it was still a show.

-I kept it all over these years. ~Connie said, showing a glowstick bracelet. It was old and has lost all the glow, but it still was dripping with childrenhood memories.

Steven still hadn't reunided enough force to speak. It was almost like he had born again. P.S was doing like Lion (dissapearing and popping out on the most unspected places) and often wandered around the city or even more far places, and the gems where doing gem stuff, so they (though) were alone.

He took the glowstick with weak hands, and analised with tired eyes. He alowed a little smile to cross his face.

Suddenly, he felt a hand very smaller than his tracing soflty on his fingers.

-...Can I... ask something?~She asked, a bit out of her comfort zone. ~When we were younger, Garnet said something that the others were ruining your "flow". And that cloud-clone said weird things... I mean, I can just have got it bad, like, what do have a girl like me to call the attention of a mighty diamont-boy with a magical destiny but... ~She stopped because it all was sounding too stupid. If she was planning to give a step foward, she just managed to give three steps backward.

Or not.

Because Steven, without saying a single word or hesitating for a second, reuinited all the strenght he still had to sit, put his hands on her face and kiss her.

She was taken in surprise but soon was kissing back.Their lips moved against each other and after a few seconds they separated.

He smiled warmly, and his eyes said everything. "I've loving you for the past four years and I've always tried to say something but I couldn't". And she knew that because it was the same way she was feeling.

-H-hi. ~He said weakly. ~M-my name is... S-Steven...! 

She immediatelly knew what he was doing and giggled.

-Connie. ~She responded, some tears falling. ~So... you do it often? come back from the dead? ~She joked, talking softly.

He chuckled on a hoarse voice.

They intertwined their fingers.

-Well, w-weird thing happens with me all the time. I'm h-half magic, for mo-mother side.~He replied, tilting his head a litte.

And talking about mother side...

-We should try the kiss again when we are reunided. ~Said Pink Steven, coming out of the blue (or pink) upstairs, what made they scream in surprise.

-Aw, you ruined the best part! ~Said spinel, her head and long, long neck emerging from the couch, where they were sitting, what made they scream louder.

-Steven has a girlfriend! Steven has a girlfriend! ~Sang a little fly that only could be Amethyst, and they screamed again, this time in embarasement.

And to turn things even weirder, Larimar came out of the fridge with a large smile.

-Now that's the screams I'm here for!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spinel: *exists*  
> Me: LET ME ADORE YOU
> 
> I think I like Spinel that much because in my childrenhood I had friends that stabbed me in the backs too when all I wanted was to please them... So I know how it feels...  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> I also love Larimar!


	6. I'm Not My Mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What would happen if you put together a experient 17-years-old-teenager, who most likely needs a nap or a therapy and haves a percent of patience that is less than 0, with a eletric hiperactive child who simply thinks everything is fantastic, believes in happily ever afters, and fight to be like his mother, thing that the teenager fights not to be, and make they go on a mission to save the city they live, their friends and the older one's life?  
> And oh, they are the same person. Because why not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, my dudes, I'm defying myself here.  
> I've heard about the Pink Instinct Theory (I don't know if that's the name but it's how it was presented to me so...), that... well, the story will speak for itself.  
> And I decided to "rewrite" the idea of the chapter "A Single Faint Star" with that concept. The story continues basically the same, with him dying, P.S ressurecting him, and etc, but the way he fix the "corruption" (or whatever) and how he dies is different.  
> Obs: the tittle is a refference to the episode "I'm My Mom". Just to let it clear.  
> Warning: Gore?; Character death, tears ahead.

-It's over, Steven! I already know what you'll do _before you do!~_ A chubby boy with a weird haircut pushed his earlier, nicer version to the ground, holding triumphant a little magic hourglass while lots of others of them fought for similar objects. The other boy, the only one using a coat, shivered in fear, pain and confusion while the other laughed. ~Haha! Now I-

Suddenly, another voice, a older one, cut throught the croud, faint in the start but getting louder as it came closer.

The two boys turned their heads to see and their jaws dropped immediatelly, because, in the middle of the mess, there was no one else than a older version of them, politely passing trought more confused boys.

-Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me... ~Said Steven (that also was using a coat), passing trought a scene that he still remembered but didn't knew how it happened, he just remembered to see dozens of clones of himself turning into sand before his eyes for no apparent reason. Finally, he reached were his real-past-he was, patted his head and said: ~Good luck to sleep tonight.

And left, leaving a boy, three gems and about one hundred time-clones wondering what the fuck just happened.

Honestly, at first sight the "Jorney Inside the Gem" seemed a good idea. In theory.

But it was turning more and more stressfull each minute he was there.

On Pearl's memories, he managed to go there without affecting anything.

But since that has _his_ gem...

After passing by a infinite mix of Pink Diamond-Rose-Steven, he let the tiredness take over him and dropped himself in a random memory, in front of the classic temple-house, on a pretty sunset. If he was aware of the surroundings, probably would notice three gems and a hybrid fighting against a giant centipode. 

He didn't even heard the hybrids screams or when the creature poofed, because he was so worried about why it was happening and how he would fix it...

Then he noticed someone poking his cheek to call his attention, so he oppened his eyes and came face-to-face with a younger version of himself.

But he was so used to weirdness and was so tired that he didn't even mind.

-Hi. ~Said the little boy. ~You... You are me?!

-Yeah. ~He answered, not reacting much.

Obviously, the little one reacted in a whole different way.

-That's soooooo cool! Please tell me, how's being your hero life until now?!

-Everybody trying to kill me, a constant need to sleep, the wish of beating my head on a wall, you know, the jobs. 

-Hey, are you alright?

Steven groaned. Very loudly. Like a elephant being pulled by the tail by a crane.

-No. There's NOTHING alright. I came here to fix things, but I still don't have a clue of what. Now there's a monster out of control on the loose and I can't make it stop because I can't control my emotions! Everything is worse than ever! Everybody says I'm diferent, that I'm not myself anymore, and I still don't know if this is puberty or something more serious! _That's_ why I'm not alright!~He shouted, putting a arm on his eyes and groaning more.

Little Steven stopped to think for a moment.

-Just another question. ~He said, and the other groaned even more. ~Since _when_ you're like this?

He sat up. _That_ was a good question.

-I don't know... I... I think it was since I had that fight with Jasper, that's when the pink-fury attacks started, but I've fought with her earlier, that couldn't happen out of sudden... It must have been something elsen than that... something differ- wait... SPINEL!! ~He screamed, the gears on his brain clicking, letting the other confused. ~She hit me with the Rejuvenator! That didn't just reseted my powers, that was just a piece of my puzzle! I... I think I forgot how to be me! Well, at least part of, something must have happened with Pink Steven-

-Who? ~Asked the little one, but he only continued with his talk with himself.

-To change him, and it would result in changing half of me, but I wouldn't notice imediatelly because I'm half human... Let's see, she hit me four times... One took my powers away, and the others may have made Pink Steven regress, to a powerless baby, than to Rose Quartz, and then... OH MY GOD, I'M WITH PINK DIAMOND'S GEM!! That's why I'm getting pink! I'm turning into her again! ~He conclued, frightened.

-YOU ARE TALKING GREEK TO ME! ~Little Steven cried. 

-Okay, let me explain: I'M. TURNING. MY. MOM. AGAIN. And that's NOT what she wanted, that's not what _I_ want, and I need to find a way to stop it before is too late!

-Oh. Hum... That's explains... ~He said, but stopped for a reason that the older didn't know but was scared to know. 

-What? ~ He said, afraid of what he would hear.

-You'll freak out if I tell you...

-No I... I won't. You can tell me. Honest!

-Okay... your eyes are pink.

- **WHAT?!** ~He screamed, running to the sea to look at himself, seeing what he didn't want to see: his iris were pink and his pupils were diamond-shapped. and this made him scream again.

-YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T FREAK OUT!

-I LIED!!! ~He tried to calm down. ~I need to find the last piece. I guess I'll have to come back and try to control the monster there.

-I'm going with you! ~The kid exclaimed, excited. But Steven didn't quite know if take the child with him was a good idea. He realized that he must to be his "Inner Child" or something, because he was interecting with him too much to be a memory (and another kid was barfing the stomach out in the background), but still, he was too innocent to see what happened with him al over the years, and by now his daily record of weirdness was broken seven times only in the last nine minutes. 

-Look, It may not-

-I'm a Cristal Gem! ~The kid shouted. ~That's nothing that you can do that I can't!

_"Boy, I was that **anoying** when I was a child?"_

Steven didn't had time to explain that yes, there was a LOT of things that he could do that he couldn't when he was a child and that it was _exactly_ his problem. So maybe...

-What about we play a game? ~He said, pretending he was not about to explode. The kid's eyes sparkled with expectation and he nooded eletrically. ~Okay, all you need to do is stay very still and...~He got stopped by a very, very strong headache.

Then he realized something was very wrong.

The scene around him melted to one that he never saw, he just heard about. It was Spinel's Garden, but it was so different than what he saw that day, everything seemed so new, so pretty...

And in front of him wasn't little Steven anymore, but Spinel on her cute form, smiling widely at him.

-This will be so much fun! ~He heard her chirping.

He looked at his hands, but it wasn't his hands. They were skiny, gloved, _pink..._

He shook his head ant the scene turned back to normal. What was on his mind?! He would never put up a trick on a kid like that! That wasn't him!

Maybe it would be better if he took the boy with him.

-You know what? Screw it. You're going with me. My gem is a mess already. ~He picked up the kid, making he mount on his backs.

-Yay! Adventure! ~The child exclaimed hapilly.

* * *

-It's over, Steven! I already know what you'll do _before you do!_ ~ A chubby boy with a weird haircut pushed his earlier, nicer version to the ground, holding triumphant a little magic hourglass while lots of others of them fought for similar objects. The other boy, the only one using a coat, shivered in fear, pain and confusion while the other laughed. ~Haha! Now I-

Suddenly, another voice, a older one, cut throught the croud, faint in the start but getting louder as it came closer.

The two boys turned their heads to see and their jaws dropped immediatelly, because, in the middle of the mess, there was no one else than a older version of them, politely passing trought more confused boys, with what seemed one of them on his backs.

-Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. ~Steven once again made his way out the croud, this time going from the path he went first and carrying his younger version on his backs, who seemed to have the time of his life. 

-Nice haircut! ~He said to one of them.

-I quit. ~"Handsome One" Steven huffed, breaking the hourglass and turning all the clones into dust.

-Wow, you're fast! ~The smaler one praised, and the other gave a tired sigh.

-Well. I have a great experience running from death...

-Your army is dominated. You lost- ~Jasper didn't had the chance to conclude the phrase because she recieved a strong, bone-crushing punch right in the face, that made her fall and drop the boy she was holding so firmly.

The boy, two Cristal gems, a prisioner Lapis Lazuli and a Homeworld Peridot faced the agressor with lifted eyebrows.

-Oh, Jasper, I'm sorry, I don't- It was the instinct, I didn't want to- ! ~He apologised, coming out of the scene the faster he could, hoping his memories wouldn't get messed because of this. ~Man, I almost didn't remember Lapis and Peridot was like that back in the day, they improved so much, I'm really proud of them. ~He commented lowly, allowing himself to smile a bit.

They ran to some other scenes, commenting the progress of the other Cristal Gems, smiling in all of them.

"Amethyst is more confident of herself now, she have a lot of potential." ~He said when they passed by their first transformation on Smoky Quartz. 

"Pearl became idependent, now she fight for herself and what she want, and not for a memory." ~He said, watching her outburst when they were talking about Rose Quartz after they found her scabbard.

"Garnet's love is beautifull, I couldn't be happier for Ruby and Saphire." They passed by their fight with the mutant gems.

"Connie turned into such a great fighter, I can't believe she was a shy bookworm when I met her." ~He giggled a bit watching her read a book before his little-he threw himself to save her.

"Dad is trusting more in me, and he is a hero himself".

"Even though Lars and Sadie didn't end together, I glad they're happy now".

"Bismuth is a great gem, and I like to have her around to make us rise when we need it."

After some others memories, they arived on a familiar scene, but not to him.

In front of them, were Pink Diamond and Pearl, planning details of the "shatering". It wasn't the scene he saw on Pearl's gem, it seemed to be earlier. He never had this dream, so it couldn't be his memory.

Then he felt like something was trapping his throat. He coughed and...

There wasn't hair, as it happened some years before on his dreams.

It was pink shards. The same ones his mother swallowed to pretend she was dead.

-Ew, why did you swallowed it? ~His younger version asked, a bit disgusted. 

-I didn't . ~He said, more worried than before. ~It's getting worse. There's no time to waste.

* * *

Finally, they got where he started, the pink room and the great window.

And by now, Steven couldn't even stand on his feet. 

He fell face-planted on the ground, too tired to move.

He couldn't fail! He had to stop the monster, but how?! What was the last piece of his puzzle?!

He was starting to weep when heard a harsh voice from above.

-Get up, you weakling! I don't wanna see your gut, I wanna see your guts! ~Little Steven shouted, seeming almost... disapointed with himself.

-Huh... wha...? ~He asked, a bit confused with his hard tone.

-Stop acting like you already lost the battle! You're A warrior! You forgot who you are? You are Steven Quartz Universe, a boy who dreamed on be a hero and make things right! You had been on hard situations before but you didn't gave up no matter what! I saw what you did! When Jasper captured you and the gems, you gave up? No. When the Cluster could have destroyed Earth, you gave up? No! When White Diamond was controling your friends, you gave up? NO! So you won't give up now! ~The child screamed, with fire and determination on his eyes.

Steven got emotioned. He was right. He was a hero, and heros rises when they falls!

-Okay, now I need to think. What made Mom change...? ~He sat with certain dificulty. ~To Amethyst was finding a friend, to Garnet was her true love, to Pearl was lose Rose... That's it! Volleyball! Mom hurt her! And also Spinel! And Pearl, the Diamonds, dad, ~~me~~... Anyways, She wanted to change when she saw she was hurting people, and that the colonization would hurt even more!

-So... you would need to hurt someone? ~Little Steven asked, starting to have serious doubts about the plan and the other's mental state.

-I think so but... the bad part is that just hurt won't be enough. I would need to hurt someone very badly, something that I don't want to do, mainly because I don't want to to put anyone in danger... ~He was starting to consider locking himself on the ocean like Malachite to escape from this situation and prevent him to hurt anyone that wasn't crabs or fishes, when the little boy gave a alert.

-Hey, isn't that girl from before? Why is she holding a sword...?

He looked in front of him and he gasped in horror, immediatelly getting up and running to the window.

-T-That's Connie! Nonono, I can't hurt her, it isn't a option! ~He screamed, punching the window and using all the strenght remaining on him to make it stop.

Unfortunally, it _wasn't_ a option.

He managed to hold on the worst part, but neither of them managed to act fast enough.

And his last vision was him delivering a scrach right on her left eye...

* * *

-...ven.... teven...St...en....Steven, please wake up!

Oh God, his head was aching so much. And his side... the pain on his side was almost unbereable and he could feel something warm and wet there... Someone calling him...

He opened his eyes.

Connie was there, crying, a big, bleeding scrach on her left eye, not seeming relieved to see him awake, making he lay most of his weight on her. But he... He was on the same size than her!

-I... I came back...! I'm m-me again! ~He said, not knowing if he got happy or not for the news, because the price he made her pay... ~o-Oh, Con, your eye... D-don't worry, I-I'll fix it.

-Steven... ~She tried to call his attention, but he was too busy kissing her eye. Luckily, his powers were working, so after a flash of light, her eye was good as new... almost. Because now her iris was pink and she still had the scars.

-Oh no, I'm s-sorry, Connie, I tried to don't leave a mark this time but....

She grabbed him by the arms, forcing him to look at both her eyes, that were crying more now.

-Steven, I don't care a little if you let me pink from head to toe! I... I made something terrible to you... When you a-attacked me, I ended up acting, e-even if I didn't want to... My arm moved by it own and... Oh, Steven, I'm so sorry... 

He looked down. There was a great bleeding cut on his side, one or two centimeters more and it would have hit his gem. Her sword was fallen on the ground, covered in blood.

He looked at her crying face again, and smiled at her, putting his hands on her cheeks, whispering sweetly.

-Con... this isn't your fault. That's okay... I f-forgive you...

-I should have protected you...

-You did it, Connie! Y-you saved me... y-you sa-saved everybody... N-now I need you t-to take care of them...

-No, Steven, p-ple-please, don't say it like that... we'll find a way...

Using his last bits of force, he kissed her, since he wouldn't have the chance again. 

When they separated, her eyes were so full of tears that she barely could see him.

-Please d-don't cry a-abo-ut m-me...

-Steven...

-I t-think y-you're so am-amazing...

-Please don't go...

-T-tell every-b-body I l-love them...

- _Steven!_

-A-and Connie... I love you. Since when w-we were little... Is s-such a shame t-that we won't ha-have a chance anymore...

She couldn't say anything. The words got stuck. 

-F-forgive me... ~He said, before his voice died. His hand slide out of her face and a last breath was heard, and now all his weight was laying on her. His eyes closed, and there was it.

The end of Steven Universe, savior of the galaxy.

Dead to kill the monster.

Being lovingly hold by his friend, crying above his dead body, tears falling on his pale face, repeating again and again, "I love you too"...

But there was someone inside him who wasn't planning to leave him dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gee, that got DARK.  
> To resume: The P.I.T says that, when Spinel hits repeatly Steven with her sickle, it didn't reseted his powers, but his gem identity. Being half human, he keeps his memories and part of his personality, but the gem was reseted in a way that there's no Pink Steven anymore, but the one and only Pink DIAMOND inside of him, what explains his pink-fury-attacks and his behavior being so out-of-character (I mean, a guy who to the first to the fifth season passed like, five minutes angry, suddenly have anger attack and throwing fits - Like certain Diamond- to any time things go out of they way? We're talking about Steven "P.T.S.D" Universe, things ALWAYS go out of the way, he said it himself!). So he still needed a piece of his puzzle, something that made Pink change, stop being a spoiled big baby who always threw fits and tantruns when she didn't get what she wanted and want to be a resposible leader, what most of people says that was she hurting and losing her pearl. So Stevs would need to hurt badly someone he loves to make the last piece fit in the place. And since in the episode "Open Book", we saw Connie with a outfit who remebered a bit Volleyball's white uniform and using a EYE PATCH iN thE SAmE plACE Of VOleyBALL's ScaR... AND ALSO FUCKING WHITE...  
> Rebecca Rebecca.  
> And if things turn back to the normal, a very confused Pink Steven will come back, possibly don't knowing WTF happened in the last few months.  
> But this is a THEORY. Such like corruption, so is okay if ya don't believe it. I believe and I think that it may be related to the corruption (if this is a corruption and not another form), another theory, but hey, who knows?  
> Another reason I believe that he will turn into that monster: CAT FINGERS.  
> Remeber, this is a fanFICTION. I may not know what I'm doing here but I like it :)  
> So, I would like you to comment which chapter you liked the best, "A Single Faint Star" or "I'm Not My Mom", if you like both or none (remembering that haters can let their mean comments for themselves, please, if you hate it why read it?) and if you want to see something in the next chapters, some theory or AU. I'm also accepting requests :D  
> P.S: I still love Spinel.


End file.
